Sunday, September 13, 2009

Say it Isn't So!

Awhile ago, I was having a phone conversation with my friend Sandi who was bemoaning the fact that besides getting older, life has now dealt her saggy knees. She misses wearing shorts and we both said a silent prayer of thanks that the BoHo look is in these days. I continued listening and was doing my best at lending a sympathetic ear until I took a look south to my own knees and…HOLY CRAP…MARY, MOTHER OF GOD… my knees were sagging too! When in the world did that happen?

To quote Cher "I hate getting old. What can I tell you? I'm sorry." I agree. I wish I could be more gracious about it but I’m not digging it either! Oprah can own “it” all she wants but look, it’s not that I want to be 20 again but the saggy knee thing is not working for me. It’s all so... I Feel Bad About my Neck, Nora Ephron’s book on dealing with menopause, maintenance and other delightful female conditions. As a lot, we have been known to spare no expense when it comes to lotions, potions and hair dye. (I'm doing a silent prayer to L'Oreal as we speak!) But, and I kid you not, there is now a surgical procedure called a knee lift!

Lucky for those us not caught up in cosmetic surgery, I have discovered crop pants! Listen, they've been around for a long time BUT they're the perfect solution to the whole shorts dilemma. And you don’t have to break the bank to own a pair. You can dress them up with heels for work or you can get casual with them at a BBQ. Call them what you will, crop pants, capris, the old school clam diggers or pedal pushers, this item was the HOT trend for Spring 2009. I know the capri has gone in and out of fashion since the 50’s but since I am a casual dresser anyway, I love them and they suit my lifestyle and the SoCal weather perfectly. And, despite what I’ve read, I think crop pants work on a variety of shapes and sizes; it just depends on the silhouette.

Case in point, Laura Petrie's Capri Pants...

In the spring of 1965, Time magazine reported that "Mary Tyler Moore has helped make Capri pants the biggest trend in US casual attire." The Capri pants were inspired by the island of Capri off the coast of Italy.

Many Americans toured the area on vacations in the 1950s and the islanders traditional mid-calf pant style soon made its debut on the American fashion landscape. The longer, ankle-length version was dubbed the ‘cigarette pant.’

On the sitcom THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW/CBS/1961-66 Mary Tyler Moore played Laura Petrie, the young suburban housewife of comedy writer Robert Petrie (Dick Van Dyke) who wore Capri pants on a number of episodes.

Capris certainly worked for the lovely Audrey Hepburn!

And while you are searching out the best capri length for yourself, here is ode to a part of the anatomy we don't give much thought to until one day...well, you know the story!

Ode to Saggy Knees

I used to jump rope, climb trees and ice skate
Though I often fell down and got a good scrape
Things have slowed down now and knees are still useful
a great place for Sadie to rest her head, ah so peaceful

Ok, I never claimed to be a poet but perhaps you are. Send me your ode to saggy knees and maybe Sadie will share some tea and doggie biscuits with you.


  1. Hi Bon! Oh, I do feel your pain! My saggy knees would like to share the following . . .


    Thought it was just my pantyhose bagging
    Then noticed my legs were bare
    Those wrinkly messes were my knees sagging
    And it filled my heart with despair

    No bras, no botox, no fillers can help
    As my knees head south towards my ankle
    Another big shock caused me to yelp
    As I saw the beginnings of a cankle

    I seem to be doomed to a life of long pants
    To maxi skirts down to the floor
    But a bright thought occurs and stops my rants
    I'll be squeezing in pantyhose no more!

  2. Oh Bonnie...Sad but true! I've been wearing capris for several years now. At some point in time, a lady has to abandon short skirts and shorts, and, alas, that happened a while back for me! I am no poet, but I love your poem! And let's not even talking about that dangly thing on my arms...yikes!! That's why they make 3/4 length sleeves on tees!! lol Happy week!...hugs...Debbie

  3. Oops..let's not even talk about...need coffee! lol

  4. Hi Bonnie.... I'll be turning 50 in just a mere 23 days yikes! The big 50 I can't believe it :( So as of today, I can't relate to the saggy knee thingy but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. So for now, I'll continue to wear my shorts and enjoy the freedom of cooler legs (changes are on it's way). Have a great day!